Notes to My 22 Year Old Self
WHAT I’M WEARING:
DRESS: Zara | BOOTS: Zara | CLUTCH: Kara Ross Heritage | CHOKER: Unleashed x Serena Williams | CELL CASE: Kate Spade | LIPGLOSS: Skinny Dip, JOUER
The past few posts we have talked about fashion and style trends (this is a style blog, after-all), but today I want to get a little personal with you. I have been having a great time in work, especially when I get to interview ROCKSTAR women/entrepreneurs/mothers and overall bad-ass babes in a live stream series called “DIAMONDS FOR BREAKFAST”. It’s basically a morning segment that allows them to share their “gems of knowledge” and wisdom on the spot. One question I always ask is, “what is a piece of advice wish someone told you 10 years ago?”. I think it’s extremely valuable to learn from your mistakes, your successes and share that knowledge to the next generation. I am 28 years old now (not 30 yet, totally not rushing it), so here are 10 pieces of advice I wish I could tell my 22 year-old self...
1. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF:
Taking care of yourself goes way beyond the physical sense, but also emotionally and spiritually. When I was about 22-23 years old I totally ran myself into the ground because I was not taking care of my health. Your health is your wealth, if you are not sleeping/eating/exercising/mediating and making time for YOU, then you will never be able to achieve great success. I totally burnt myself out and that was not fun. I was always extremely hard on myself, a perfectionist. I would say ease up, make time for things that bring you joy (outside of work and money), be well-rounded and enjoy the little things. Challenge yourself physically and mentally.
2. FIND A JOB THAT YOU LOVE:
People always tell me “that’s so much easier said then done”. Honey, I am not denying it, but its TOTALLY do-able. What do you enjoy? What are you good at? What truly brings you happiness? Write it down on paper, think about it, visualize yourself doing something that involves at least one of those three things. I am so lucky to be in a position that I love, that I enjoy, and that let’s me use my skills for good. It was a very long road coming and it didn’t happen overnight. Landing your dream job isn’t a one-shot deal. NOTHING WORTH HAVING COMES EASY. You have to be able to roll up your sleeves, and put in the work.
3. STOP OVER-PLANNING EVERYTHING:
Truth be told, when I was 22 I thought I would be rich + married + traveling the world by the time I was 28 haha! I thought I would have my life completely figured out, I thought I would have kids, I thought it would be much different. What I have learned is you can make plans, but life always has other plans for you. You have to be able to PIVOT and switch gears when necessary. Things do not happen overnight, and you have to learn to enjoy the journey. Just know that its OK to go at your own pace, one step at a time.
4. DATE OLDER/DATE SMARTER:
Man I wish I knew this one a few years ago ladies. The equivalent of a 28 year old guy is a 21 year old boy. They do not know what they want and are not ready for commitment. Our parents grew up in a totally different age, where chivalry and romance still existed (a little bit still does today). You have to date slightly older to get the maturity level you are looking for in a partner. If you are smarter then your man, you are dating the wrong guy. I find it sexy when I can learn something from a guy. I find it sexy when a man is secure in his life, confident, loves his job and is not afraid to let his guard down. The world has completely changed and dating is not easy, but don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. THERE IS NO RUSH! Focus on yourself, your job, your happiness first.
5. LET GO OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOT ADD VALUE TO YOUR LIFE:
This is a tough one. We sometimes grow up with people in certain circles and feel that they will always be our best friends and love and support us. People change, point blank. If someone is not loving you, encouraging you, supporting you or bettering your life then let them go. YOUR VIBE ATTRACTS YOUR TIBE. I surround myself with positive people. I have friends of all ages (literally 18-60) and all walks of life, millionaires and people just making ends meet. It’s important to keep your circle tight, be with people that lift your spirit and your mind. As you get older, you realize this more and more. Keep good company, you can still have many acquaintances but the core should be solid.
6. SAVE YOUR MONEY & TRAVEL:
My entire life my parents always hounded me to save my money. I never listened. I would work, get my paycheck and go shopping or blow my money out with friends. I really wish I listened to them a little more. Let’s put things in a clear perspective: every Friday night I would go out with my friends and spend $80-$100 when I was 22 bar hoping etc. If I skipped Friday and only went out one day during the weekend in about 5 weeks I could have brought a flight to Europe. Would you rather buy drinks/that new pair of shoes, or use your money on an experience? Traveling is the best possible thing you can do for your soul. Every year I go somewhere I have not been before.
7. DON’T BURN ANY BRIDGES:
No matter what industry you are in, just remember that it’s a small world. Your reputation is everything, especially in a professional career. Don’t backstab anyone, alway be honest and most importantly don’t talk negatively about people. Nine times out of ten it will come back and bite you in the ass. Stay humble and gracious, even if you are not fond of someone keep it polite and simple. If someone comes to you and starts speaking negatively about someone, change the subject and do not get involved. Now don’t misunderstand me, I am not staying “be fake” but just be courteous. Something I have learned over the past few years, I DON’T DO DRAMA. I don’t like to talk badly about anyone, I wish no one harm. If you want to vent thats cool but I am not the person to do it with.
8. BE KIND, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE A “BITCH” TO GET AHEAD:
I once had a boss that told me, “you have to be a little tougher, a little meaner, make them afraid of you”. I do not agree with that at all. I treat people the way I would want to be treated. Whether you are my intern or a top Fortune 500 CEO, I will always treat everyone with respect and be kind. I learned not to let people take advantage of me, and that was honestly one of my hardest life lessons. People often mistake kindness with weakness, and that is not the case. It’s important to know your worth and not to take any shit, but always be kind and lead with kindness. When you are a leader that is true, positive, and kind your staff will be more loyal and its proven they will actually work harder for you.
9. DON’T CHANGE YOURSELF FOR ANYONE, BUT EVOLVE INTO THE PERSON YOU WERE DESTINED TO BECOME:
From 2014-2017 I had some major life changes and so many important lessons. I was trying so hard to fit into a world I did not come from. I tried to play a role that just was not me. I learned that you have to always be yourself. When you are happy with yourself, other people will learn to love you just the way you are. It is important to constantly change and evolve, to better yourself, but never loose your quirkiness or little things that make you YOU. I don’t know everything and I am still changing, but it feels good because each day I am getting closer and closer to the woman I want to become. I owe so much of this to my amazing mentors. Once in particular, who took me under her wing, believed in me whole-heartedly and empowers/challenges me everyday…. you know who she is ;)
10. MAKE YOURSELF INVALUABLE:
This is a lesson that everyone should take pretty seriously, especially when it comes to work and success. To be GREAT you have to be able to do everything, and do it well. Never think you will go to school and study a subject and then get a job only focusing on that. It’s not reality in 2017. You have to be able to be the first one in the office, the last one to leave and ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES. Do not wait to be told to do something, take initiative and just do it. Don’t complain, motivate the people around you and give it your all.
I hope this post inspired you, more coming soon xo
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